I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
