I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
