addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
