Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(330): View more from Ohio

I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp

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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards

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(949): View more from California

Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?

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(586): View more from Michigan

I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.

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(858): View more from California

What should I list for life skills

(619): View more from California

How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that

(858): View more from California

Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California

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