my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
