Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Randomize
