Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Randomize
