oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
