why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
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