would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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