You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
