I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize
