Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
