I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
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