You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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