He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Please, let me fuck your mom
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
