He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I think people are normalizing furries
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
