Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
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