I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
