handjob tips. give me some.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Randomize
