so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
