I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
