so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom