Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep

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  (212): K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep http://tfl.nu/ltsv
  Replies (6) Good night (927) Bad night (1482)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door

  (865): View more from Tennessee

  and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice

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  (865): we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door (865): and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice http://tfl.nu/lffl
  Replies (23) Good night (7530) Bad night (816)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.

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  (281): I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT. http://tfl.nu/8oew
  Replies (144) Good night (10072) Bad night (727)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one

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  (502): so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one http://tfl.nu/ezfm
  Replies (11) Good night (4483) Bad night (530)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.

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  (734): The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister. http://tfl.nu/1i96
  Replies (18) Good night (6889) Bad night (1126)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.

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  (954): The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave. http://tfl.nu/yi61
  Replies (21) Good night (4306) Bad night (1119)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.

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  (360): Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY. http://tfl.nu/nqby
  Replies (32) Good night (1824) Bad night (7544)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?

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  (703): What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'? http://tfl.nu/3ece
  Replies (12) Good night (2369) Bad night (1049)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.

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  (513): We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed. http://tfl.nu/rz1w
  Replies (2) Good night (1527) Bad night (1354)
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  (914): View more from New York

  Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off

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  (914): Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off http://tfl.nu/fxgn
  Replies (8) Good night (1278) Bad night (548)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell

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  (905): Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell http://tfl.nu/79c2
  Replies (3) Good night (1341) Bad night (425)
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  (716): View more from New York

  You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will

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  (716): You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will http://tfl.nu/h8xm
  Replies (3) Good night (794) Bad night (730)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.

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  (303): Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel. http://tfl.nu/tevo
  Replies (5) Good night (959) Bad night (431)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  That's true love, there.

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  (701): Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.' (701): That's true love, there. http://tfl.nu/22yh
  Replies (0) Good night (847) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.

  (1-253): View more from Washington

  Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.

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  (253): Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now. (1-253): Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now. http://tfl.nu/vki8
  Replies (2) Good night (597) Bad night (263)

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