Texts From Last Night

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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.

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  (513): Shitting during a conference call is so empowering. http://tfl.nu/es82
  Replies (12) Good night (2983) Bad night (528)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts

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  (937): there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts http://tfl.nu/ju9y
  Replies (28) Good night (5281) Bad night (511)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,

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  (214): Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking, http://tfl.nu/jftc
  Replies (6) Good night (3344) Bad night (679)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'

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  (503): some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?' http://tfl.nu/rnao
  Replies (12) Good night (3824) Bad night (1032)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab

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  (520): you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab http://tfl.nu/m7xl
  Replies (4) Good night (1607) Bad night (694)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325

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  (910): Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly. (910): im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325 http://tfl.nu/vc15
  Replies (26) Good night (800) Bad night (2304)
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  (714): View more from California

  Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.

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  (714): Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas. http://tfl.nu/rvqb
  Replies (5) Good night (568) Bad night (1280)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea

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  (727): Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea http://tfl.nu/mom5
  Replies (2) Good night (1041) Bad night (554)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.

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  (703): I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM. http://tfl.nu/2ycx
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (400)
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  (619): View more from California

  No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.

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  (619): No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch. http://tfl.nu/4axa
  Replies (6) Good night (3092) Bad night (530)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...

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  (902): He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it... http://tfl.nu/at35
  Replies (6) Good night (1688) Bad night (475)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear

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  (512): He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear http://tfl.nu/jwyg
  Replies (6) Good night (1463) Bad night (385)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."

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  (219): "I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance." http://tfl.nu/fhmo
  Replies (6) Good night (702) Bad night (291)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.

  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.

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  (580): She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand. (580): I'm worried because he hasn't removed it. http://tfl.nu/hp4o
  Replies (3) Good night (677) Bad night (219)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.

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  (678): I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment. http://tfl.nu/3adl
  Replies (2) Good night (696) Bad night (249)

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