return my video game
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
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Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
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To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.