sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.