this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
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