Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
