you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
