coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
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