I just made out with a guy for $7.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
