I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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