what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Randomize
