I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
