with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
