Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I think your dad took our porno
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
