Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
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