You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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