Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
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