i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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