Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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