i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
