Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
