Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
