so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Randomize
