I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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