Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
