I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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