he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
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I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
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I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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