I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
