Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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