I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
