Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
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