for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
