That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Randomize
