I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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