Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
