I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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