I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
