I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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