She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
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