those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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