i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize