I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
