So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
