Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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