ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
