i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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